If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
