dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
