so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
