I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
