I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
