She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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