Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
