I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
