that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
