I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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