I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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