He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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