Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I AM VODKA MAN
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
