Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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