When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
