Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
