Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
