Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
