You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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