This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
