Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
