everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
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Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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