I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
