The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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