What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
