The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
