Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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