I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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