Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
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