I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
