she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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