My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
whose parrot is this?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
