No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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