I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
