An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
