I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
