He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
