And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
