Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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