Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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