Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
