Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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