If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize