If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
