i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
