Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
