On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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