I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
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