Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
