Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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