You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
These tits shall not be calmed
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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