how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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